FASHION, BEAUTY, SWEAT and the Importance of Self-love


Confession: I’m still coming out of a huge hermit phase in the fashion and beauty department. This past year I became a mom of three, and I lost 100 pounds. Summed up, my days pretty much were consumed by 1.) the less than glamorous “daily grind” of mommydom, and 2.) designing and implementing the BIKINI BODY MOMMY CHALLENGE workouts that had me sweating more profusely than I’d ever sweat before.

As you can imagine, that did not inspire a lot of enthusiasm for fancy clothes or make-up. My kids could care less if I went out of my way to dawn fabulous smokey eyes while I threw together their PB&J’s. And heading into my daily Bikini Body Mommy workout sessions with even the slightest hint of eye-pencil or mascara left me looking more like THE JOKER from Batman, than the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model I was using for fitspiration. Same with clothes. Wearing heels after doing 100 lunges? Ha! Working out, only to breast-feed, get thrown up on, shuttle kids around and do homework; was hardly worth dressing up for.

Now don’t laugh, but I think another reason for me not giving a S#*! about how I looked for a while, was also the subliminal belief that that my appearance didn’t matter while I was undergoing my “metamorphosis.” Fat caterpillar to Butterfly… my inner beauty would shine through regardless of my outward appearance, right?! Well, while I still believe inner beauty matters more than the later, for a while, I also thought this ‘excused’ me from not putting much effort into my appearance.

That was until about half way through my 100 pound weight loss transformation. Once I slowly begun to feel better about myself, BOOM! I had a huge paradigm shift…

I realized that:

ONE: I felt better about myself and felt more comfortable in my own skin if I spent a little time and effort on my appearance. This realization came when I was still FAT and trying to hide it under layers of baggy clothes, but figured I might as well begin to look the part of “who I was trying to become” the best that I could, because I knew if I did, I would feel more inspired to act upon the person that I believe I was trying to be.

TWO: Taking care of yourself and how you look sends a signal to yourself — about yourself. The message is: ‘Hey. I’m worth exercising, and dressing up for to feel good about myself!” To me, it’s a form of self-love and expression.

THREE: Not only does that little extra time and effort result in a more attractive you, but it also creates a more confident you. And it helps to be a more confident you in all sorts of different situations. You’ll be bolder, more outspoken, more outgoing and just plain raise your inner-AWESOMENESS to another level. If that needs a new sports bra and a layer of lip-gloss, I don’t really see the harm in it.

FOUR: People like looking at pretty things. It makes them happy. It sounds simple and slightly superficial, but it is true. So, in keeping with the whole “trying to be a positive force in the Universe,” and all that… I know what an impact spreading your own happiness can have on brightening up another persons day. So, if I can influence someone else’s mood in a positive way by simply putting on eye makeup and lip gloss in the morning — I might as well do it.

FIVE: Whereas my appearance is only a fraction of the impression I leave on another human being, it is the first thing people “in the real world” see of me and who I am. I’d like that first impression to be inviting and pleasing to the eye…. Not leave someone walking away wondering if I’d slept in a week, or if they’d just contracted the flu.

Rest assured, I’m far from being a crazy trendy fashionista who walks around with perfect make-up and not a hair out of place. Far from it. I am still horribly incapable of applying liquid eyeliner, I still need to re-learn how to walk in high heels, and I still have many days where I live in my drawstring sweatpants and don’t dawn an ounce of make-up — which is fine.

But I LOVE smudged eyeliner, smokey eyes and walking around with bombshell hair. Sometimes I’ll create a sleek ponytail, sometimes a messy bouffant. I even wear false eye-lashes every now and then, because I think they’re sexy. I know what clothes and colors look good on me and with a little effort, I love going out the door knowing I look nice.

I decided to routinely implement a few fashion and beauty tricks in my daily routine because it honors who I am, because it makes me feel good about myself, and because I’ve found it can be fun.

Putting on make-up in the morning and loving the way certain clothes make you feel, does not make you a superficial person. I think it’s important to take care of how you look. It’s just another way of saying ‘I’m worth it’ and I don’t think you can say that enough to yourself — so you might as well. xx,-B


IF YOU ENJOYED THIS POST, Can you please TAKE 2 SECONDS to FOLLOW ME over on BlogLovin so you don’t miss future posts just like it?! … Thanks loves!!!


      • says

        I’m not even sure how I found your blog, but I bookmarked it and have been enjnoiyg looking at it here and there for several months. My husband and I lost our second born son ten years ago at ten days old. I can relate to so many of your posts about Asher. The main thing that stands out to me is that through all of this, you can stand and declare, God is good! The simple truths of God is good; God is love; God is sovereign are what helped us through those first few years. I really appreciate your faith in the Lord and willingness to accept His will; Romans 8:28 REALLY is true, isn’t it? May the Lord bless you and your family. Zoe is just beautiful!!!!!!!Angela SlateP.S. God has now blessed us with five children-four boys and one girl. We praise the Lord for them everyday.

  1. Becca says

    This may seen strange, but I feel exactly the opposite on most of the points you made. I feel really uncomfortable if I’m too dressed up. I never wear make-up (unless required by the event) because I often feel uncomfortable while wearing it. I also get sort of sad when I see a woman who looks super nice just to do some errands or chores. It sends the message to me that she is uncomfortable with her body. I still try to wear clothes that fit well and coordinate outfits; and I am lucky enough to have hair that looks quite nice without any effort. However, I do have acne and acne scarring, some frizz, small eyes, a largeish nose, and bad hair days. But I am completely comfortable with all those things. My husband is also comfortable with them, and attracted to me without all the primping that most women do. I wish women would feel more attractive without putting so much money and effort into how they look. All my effort goes towards being healthy. I cook everything I eat from scratch, and even make some of my own cleaning products. (Obvsly, I also work out.) I get happy when I see a girl carrying herself well, but with the looks she was born with.

      • says

        Are you talking about a Brazillan bkniii wax? Then the best bet is wax it at the spa An ordinary bkniii wax should only be $15 at the nail saloon.Anwways, i’ve tryed shaving and the cream hair removers and they leave me skin so irrated.The at home wax systems don’t work at all.

    • says

      The only thing prettier than those ceokios are all the pictures on this blog (okay that is a bit corny, but true). AMY! All your pictures are so great, I had so much fun looking through them. Beautiful!

  2. says

    Hello! This is kind of off topic but I need some advice from an established blog. Is it hard to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I’m thinking about making my own but I’m not sure where to begin. Do you have any tips or suggestions? Thanks|

  3. says

    I’m really impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it’s rare to see a nice blog like this one these days

  4. Sarah says

    I think putting effort into the way you look is a requirement of success. Statistically, better looking people make more money, are more successful. When I read that stat, I was angered.

    It did make me have a moment if inner reflection, people that take the time to look the part, get the leads. As Shakespeare said “every man must play their part.” So I ask, what part do I want to play, slob/bum or the good looking successful one?

  5. Vanessa says

    This is a really good reminder. I have been waiting to start dressing more fashionably till i reach my fitness goal. I have so many cute clothes from before that i feel its a waste of money to spend money on clothes for my body right now(I am 25 pounds away). But your right, even if spending a bit of time and money on how I look right now would be even more motivating. Not to mention my hubby would be very appreciative ;)

  6. Lisa says

    LOVE this post!
    I started BBM WOW about 6 weeks ago and I’m now on day 27. Before this I always said, “I’m not a runner… I don’t work out… Yada yada yada.” but four months after baby #5, the weight was (strangely) still there. I’m just not as young as I used to be, I figured. So I found this workout, challenged two friends along with me and away we went!
    My first reward for sticking with it one week was work out capris. They are wonderful!
    For my two-week mark I got me NEW RUNNING SHOES!! I have NEVER spent over $30 in shoes. And these running shoes- we spared no expense. I LOVE MY SHOES!
    My next reward was new socks – real socks – to go with my new shoes and new work out.
    After that- new sports bras! Oh and did I need them!
    Last week, I bought me enough new work out shirts to go the week.
    I feel like a new me! I’ve lost ten pounds and still have fifteen to go, but I look forward to my workout gear & clothes and the workout is FUN! I’ve never owned stuff like this before, nor worked out like this before. It’s great! And I’m going to look the best ever! Thirty-something Hot Mama, here I come!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>